Pop Quiz, Hot Shot: You’re calling someone to talk and they don’t pick up.
What do you do?
A) Leave a message with useful info telling the person to call you back.
B) Hang up and text them the info you were calling about.
C) Hang up and send a voice message to the person
D) Hang up and DM / message through social media
E) Hang up and e-mail the person
F) Hang up and do nothing.
G) Hang up and hang your head in shame, realizing you should have just texted the person to call you when they were free and let them know when you’ll be around…
From the very first answering machines until, let’s say, 2006, option ‘A’ was a sensible response. Texting on a flip phone was about as much fun as drinking a milkshake through a Capri Sun straw. The pretext for this pre-text era was that if you wanted to get a message to someone when they didn’t pick up the phone, leaving a voice mail about why you called was reasonable unless you were going to fumble around like Favreau in Swingers.
Option ‘B’ really only became an option in the 2006 – ’08 range and amazingly has become standard practice today for many people. Now the person on the other end gets the alert that you missed their call AND a text from you about what the call was about… Maybe just text first?
Option ‘C’ is for lunatics. The only difference between leaving an audio message via text or a voice message after someone doesn’t pick up is…nothing. In one case you have to wait a few rings and in the other you can just send the audio. I don’t know many people who text audio messages… However… If you feel someone MUST hear your voice, then audio messages actually make more sense than a voicemail because you don’t have to sit through the rings to send one. BUT… if you’re just going to leave an audio message, you might as well just text it… I’ve never done Option ‘C’.
Option ‘D’ may make sense if the call is for work or you only know the person through social media… But it’s weird for friends to do…at least I think so. “Hey, I just tried calling you and you didn’t pick up so I’m hitting you with a message on the gram.” Eh. Not a fan.
Option ‘E’ feels a little over the top, kinda like if you say you’ll buy someone a cup of coffee but instead you take them to Morton’s for dinner… If what you’re calling about contains enough information that it can fill an e-mail, well, just send an e-mail. Most people don’t rehearse messages, which means you have a lot to say and you have to improvise and most people not named Ryan Stiles or Colin Mochrie rarely improvise. Usually leads to one of these types of messages:
They meander: “Hey, uhh, it’s Jon, I was, uh… Just wanted to see if you were gonna do that thing, you know, we talked about it, remember, at the restaurant, but, well, if you are, I think I might too, but didn’t know what time it was or if I should bring something or….”
They get distracted: “Hey it’s Jon, I was calling because, hold on… no, I said a number 4 with apple slices not fries…and chocolate milk…not plain… yeah… nuggets… anyway, sorry dude, so I was calling because….”
They leave a message with play-by-play of what they’re seeing just to basically ask you to call them back: “Hey, it’s Jon, on my way to work and thought I’d… oh, man… this dude in the car next to me is shaving… I mean, he’s on the highway shaving… and he’s like 60 in a red Corvette… like the whiskers must be getting all over his suit… ugh, I’d hate to wear a suit every day, anyway… call me back…”
I can’t speak for you, but aside from family and friends you who you enjoy talking to and just want to shoot the shit with, I’m choosing option ‘F’ 98% of the time.
I don’t understand the stigma about calling and not leaving a message. The societal code acts as if the lack of a message completely negates the good intentions of the call…but this makes no sense… What’s the logic here? Oh, look, it’s so nice that Jon reached out to me but since he didn’t leave a message I’m taking back that I thought it was nice.”
Personally, if I call and don’t leave a message this is exactly what it means: I wanted to say hello or talk about something or tell you a funny story or I was just thinking about you and there’s zero urgency so call me back whenever.
If there is urgency or I think you need to know something or there’s a time element to it, I’ll probably text that information and forego the call.
Either way, all of this is to say that I think phones could completely get rid of voicemails.
Those are my thoughts.
